A Day in the Life

I think this about sums it up... This person needs a job, an executive position, will be available in January 2009, and is willing to relocate. RESUME-GEORGE W. BUSH EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE: Law Enforcement: I was arrested in Kennebunkport , Maine , in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been 'lost' and is not available. Military: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam .. College: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader. I did complete an MBA at Harvard. PAST WORK EXPERIENCE : I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland , Texas in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas . The company w...

I got this from the Sperm Donor and had to share with everyone... Cell Phone Information Cell phone companies are charging $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411 Information calls. Since no one carries a telephone directory in their vehicle, they get away with it. When you need to use the 411 Information option, simply dial 1(800) FREE 411, or 1 (800) 373-3411; you will incur no charge. This works on your home telephone as well. This is the kind of information people don't mind receiving, so pass it on to your family and friends. I f you enter this number into your cell phone you will always have a way to get a phone number if you need one. snopes.com: Free 411

Bitchy sent this to me and I had to share...it's just too true and funny not to! 1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad. 2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile -- I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in. 4. When you are scared -- I will rag you about it every chance I get until you're not. 5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining. 6. When you are confused -- I will try to use only little words. 7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have. 8. When you fall -- I will laugh at your clumsy ass but I'll help you up. 9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend". Friendship is like peeing in your pants, ev...

The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. Just been going through some tough times and haven't really wanted to share lately. Here's something that cracked me up and I can't help but share. Hope y'all enjoy! :) From: Chrystine Date: Apr 24, 2008 7:12 AM Watch this... and thank me later :) http://video. yahoo. com/network/100284668/3774740?v=2369949

I know I'm a little late on this but I thought I'd share anyway. This is stolen from Kuma , btw. Love him for finding this gem! :) Gary Gygax wasn't the father of Dungeons and Dragons. He was the weird uncle that lived in the basement, painted lead miniatures, and could expound on the twelve different types of polearm weapons. So it's understandable that gamers might have trouble talking about it openly. Instead, here are some ways to refer to Gygax's untimely passing…you know, without really saying it: When referring to Gygax's death, you can say he: 1) Started a new character sheet. 2) Is looking for a seventh-level cleric. 3) Failed his save vs. death magic. 4) Is food for purple worms. 5) Immediately became an NPC. 6) Finished the Doritos. 7) Has gone pips up. 8) Is pushing up shriekers. 9) Cashed in his gold pieces. 10) Took the first step to lichdom. 11) Went ethereal. 12) Kicked on the end of a spear. 13) Didn't make his system shock roll. 14) Bought ...

Saw this and had to share. Pretty groovy stuff! From: It's a Hipmunk Date: 05/03/2008 From: Aquaman ~ Ocean Defender The Natural Way To Clean Everything In Your House. Cleaning Metal Surfaces: Silver - Put some water in a pan with a few teaspoons of washing soda, bring to a simmer. Throw in alittle piece of aluminum foil, and then dip your silver right into the mix. Pull the item out, dry it off, and shine it clean with a rag. Pewter - Wash your pewter items in warm soapy water (use biodegradable soap!), rinse, and polish with a clean cotton cloth. Instant clean! Chrome - You can clean anything that is chrome just by combining 1 tablespoon of ammonia with 1 pint of water. Just rub the concoction on the chrome and watch the dirt come right off. Iron - If you have iron cooking pans or other items that are looking a little rusty, you can clean them with a damp cloth and some steel wool. Wipe down the item with the cloth, scrub lightly with the steel wool, rinse and then dry. Be sure ...

From: HRC Date: 22/02/2008 Sign Our Million for Marriage Petition today!

Stolen from Brian's blog : Join Barack Obama for a special Stand for Change Rally in Dallas, Texas on Wednesday, February 20th. The event will be free and open to the public. Stand for Change Rally with Barack Obama Reunion Arena 777 Sports Street Dallas, TX Wednesday, February 20, 2008 Doors Open: 10:30 a.m. Program Begins: 12:00 p.m. The event is free and open to the public. Tickets are not required, however an RSVP is strongly encouraged. Admission is on a first come, first-served basis. For security reasons, do not bring bags. No signs or banners permitted. Please limit personal items. RSVP here. --------------------------------------------- Stolen from Unfair Park : The University of Texas at Dallas just announced that Chelsea Clinton will be at the school tomorrow at 10:15 a.m. on the lower level of the Student Union. Which is interesting timing, to say the least: As we noted last night, Barack Obama will be at Reunion Arena tomorrow morning , with doors opening at 10:30 a.m...

You've probably heard about the "superdelegates" who could end up deciding the Democratic nominee. The superdelegates are under lots of pressure right now to come out for one candidate or the other. We urgently need to encourage them to let the voters decide between Clinton and Obama--and then to support the will of the people. I signed a petition urging the superdelegates to respect the will of the voters. Can you join me at the link below? http://pol.moveon.org/superdelegates/?r_by=12150-7863710-uiHY0z&rc=comment_mailto

From: DallasRally.com Date: 15/02/2008 (please repost!) If you haven't signed the petition to help keep the Bush Library out of SMU...please go here: www.protectSMU.org February 11, 2008 - I am the organizer of the petition that you signed at www.protectSMU.org. I am also a United Methodist minister and research psychologist living in New York City who graduated from Perkins School of Theology at SMU. Our petition continues to grow. There are now over 11,300 signers representing every state and several nations, including twenty-nine United Methodist bishops, hundreds of graduates of SMU and thousands of clergy, church members, and people of conscience. Many thanks for your support! There is every indication that the George W. Bush Foundation is moving full steam ahead to establish a partisan think tank at SMU. We believe the signing of a 99 year lease is not far away. Below is a letter five South Central Jurisdiction delegates sent to the George W. Bush Foundation on January 31, 20...

Pocket Meggie sent this to me in an email and I laughed out loud so now I share this with all of you. I looked it up and credit goes to Wendi Aarons for this. Go girl! :) This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph... PC Magazine's 2007 editors'choice for best web mail-award-winning letter.... Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or Dry-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I fee...

Here's an interesting thing I couldn't resist checking out. Apparently this little quiz will tell you if you're practicing the right religion for your beliefs. Looks like I'm right where I'm supposed to be. ;-) 1. Neo-Pagan (100%) 2. New Age (88%) 3. Unitarian Universalism (77%) 4. Mahayana Buddhism (75%) 5. Liberal Quakers (64%) 6. New Thought (63%) 7. Scientology (62%) 8. Reform Judaism (61%) 9. Sikhism (60%) 10. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (60%) 11. Hinduism (59%) 12. Theravada Buddhism (54%) 13. Taoism (51%) 14. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (47%) 15. Bahá'í Faith (45%) 16. Secular Humanism (45%) 17. Orthodox Quaker (41%) 18. Jainism (36%) 19. Orthodox Judaism (36%) 20. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (34%) 21. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (28%) 22. Islam (25%) 23. Nontheist (25%) 24. Seventh Day Adventist (21%) 25. Eastern Orthodox (21%) 26. Roman Catholic (21%)...

Thanks to Brian for bringing this to my attention. I voted, did you? --------------------------------- Over the last 30 years, designs for the state's general issue plate have ranged from a plain, white background to the flying Lone Star Flag. In January of 2009, production of the next plate will begin. Texans will have the opportunity to vote for one of four new designs or to keep the current plate . For more information, please see the Frequently Asked Questions . Voting Timeframe Voting begins at noon on Monday, Feb. 4 and ends at noon on Monday, Feb. 11. View the current unofficial vote count . VOTE HERE

The Sperm Donor showed this to me yesterday and I laughed out loud. I had to share it with y'all. :)

This is amazing but obviously this woman has WAY too much time on her hands. Check it out, I've never seen anything like it! Lego Church

My friend David sent this to me and it's hillarious! Hope this makes y'all smile today. :) Teh blessigs of teh Ceiling Cat b pwn u! http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page Genesis 1, vs. 13 - An so teh threeth day jazzhands.

Here's something the Sperm Donor sent along that I really like the sentiment of. (I changed the capitalized "God" to "the gods" but that's cuz I'm a spaz like that...) I think this will be my mantra for 2008: "Is this the hot chocolate or the cup?" ;-) HOT CHOCOLATE A group of graduates, well established in their careers, were talking at a reunion and decided to go visit their old university professor, now retired. During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress in their work and lives. Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups - porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the hot chocolate. When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said: "Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain...

If you have a dog... PLEASE read this and send it on. If you don't have a dog, please pass along to friends who do. Written by: Laurinda Morris, DVM Danville Veterinary Clinic Danville , Ohio This week I had the first case in history of raisin toxicity ever seen at MedVet. My patient was a 56-pound, 5 yr old male neutered lab mix that ate half a canister of raisins sometime between 7:30 AM and 4:30 PM on Tuesday. He started with vomiting, diarrhea and shaking about 1AM on Wednesday but the owner didn't call my emergency service until 7AM. I had heard somewhere about raisins AND grapes causing acute Renal failure but hadn't seen any formal paper on the subject. We had her bring the dog in immediately. In the meantime, I called the ER service at MedVet, and the doctor there was like me - had heard something about it, but.... Anyway, we contacted the ASPCA National Animal Poison Control Center and they said to give I V fluids at 1 1/2 times maintainance and wat ch the ki...

Got this from the Sperm Donor and thought it was worth sharing. :) There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." So she did and she had a wonderful day. The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. "Hmm," she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today." So she did and she had a grand day. The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. "Well," she said, "today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day. The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head. "YES!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!" Attitude is everything. Life isn't about waiting for...

I definitely want to get one of these stickers... http://www.fagbug.com What is Fagbug? On the 11th annual National Day of Silence (April 18, 2007), Erin Davies was victim to a hate crime in Albany, NY. Because of sporting a rainbow sticker on her VW Beetle, Erin's car was vandalized, left with the words "fAg" and "u r gay" placed on the hood and driver side of her car. Despite initial shock and embarassment, Erin's decided to embrace what happened and film a documentary about her 58-day cross country tour around the US and Canada in her car known worldwide as the fagbug. To bring Fagbug to your campus, email Erin at erin@fagbug.com. Mission: Erin's goal is to get one million people (both gay and straight) to add rainbow fagbug stickers to their cars so that no one is targeted like she was again. To order a fagbug sticker or t-shirt, visit the fagbug store.

Zaber sent this to me in my email and it made me laugh so hard I cried. I had to share... 'But You Said You Loved Me!' 'You will pay, as God is my witness, you will pay.' 'Wow, you call this water warm???' 'I don't think I like you anymore.' 'You SUCK!!!!!!' 'E.T. phone home......quick!' 'No, I'm not your Good Little Kitty anymore.' 'Traction....I'm losing Traction!' 'I want my Mommmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!' 'No, no, no, no.....NOOOO!!!!'

Did you know that Gov. Mike Huckabee, the rising star in the Republican presidential race, thought AIDS patients should be "isolated," even after scientists knew it couldn't be spread through casual contact? Or that he still believes he was right to say that? After a public outcry erupted over the AIDS comment, Huckabee agreed to meet with the mother of Ryan White, whose son became a household name as a young AIDS patient. But it's been weeks, and he still won't keep his word and meet with her. Don't let him get away with an empty campaign promise! You can send your message at the link below. Thanks! http://www.hrcactioncenter.org/campaign/Huckabee?rk=812ich1qBQhxW

From: DallasRally.com Date: Jan 17, 2008 12:43 AM (please repost!) IMPEACH DICK NOW!!! .. http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1155201977/bctid1379193723 A Message From Congressman Wexler on January 16, 2008 Last night, I took to the floor of the House of Representatives and outlined our case as to why this Congress must hold immediate hearings on Rep. Kucinich’s Articles of Impeachment. I didn’t do it alone: I was armed with nearly 200,000 signatures of support from you and so many others. Please watch the video of this speech and forward it to as many people as possible. I've posted it on the front page of www.WexlerWantsHearings.com This morning, I delivered letters to all of my colleagues in the House of Representatives, urging them to support Cheney Impeachment Hearings. You can read a copy of both the letter to my colleagues as well as the letter to Chairman Conyers I am asking them to sign at: http://www.wexlerforcongress.com/news.asp?ItemID=230 Addi...

The Cap'n posted this very interesting quiz on his blog and I couldn't resist taking it. According to it, this is how I should vote in the fall... Former Alaska Senator Mike Gravel (D) - 79.17% match My Other Top Matches Ohio Representative Dennis Kucinich (D) - 75.00% New York Senator Hillary Clinton (D) - 70.83% Former North Carolina Senator John Edwards (D) - 70.83% Middle of the Pack Connecticut Senator Christopher Dodd (D) - 66.67% Illinois Senator Barack Obama (D) - 66.67% Delaware Senator Joseph Biden (D) - 62.50% New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson (D) - 58.33% Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani (R) - 41.67% Arizona Senator John McCain (R)- 37.50% Texas Representative Ron Paul (R) - 37.50% Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee (R) - 33.33% Colorado Representative Tom Tancredo (R) - 29.17% Businessman John Cox (R) - 25.00% Bottom of the Barrel California Representative Duncan Hunter (R) - 20.83% Kansas Senator Sam Brownback (R) - 16.67% Former Massachusetts Gover...

This is a great blessing and one that I can't keep from reposting...here's hoping that 2008 is our best year yet! From: HACTACbKA Date: Jan 8, 2008 2:14 PM I wish you Health... So you may enjoy each day in comfort. I wish you the Love of friends and family... And Peace within your heart. I wish you the Beauty of nature... That you may enjoy the work of God. I wish you Wisdom to choose priorities... For those things that really matter in life. I wish you Generousity so you may share... All good things that come to you. I wish you Happiness and Joy... And Blessings for the New Year. I wish you the best of everything... That you so well deserve. HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIENDS!

As you all know, this has been a year of great change for me and my household. I thank you all for staying with me through all the highs and lows this year and am grateful to call you all friend. Let's hope 2008 is the biggest, best, and brightest year we've all had yet!!! And now some gratuitous nudity for your viewing enjoyment... Sexy New Years Comments & Graphics