Showing posts from December, 2005

Damn Kids!

My Shelly sent this to me and while I realize it's similar to something I've posted before, it's enough different that it's definitely worth putting out here. Hope y'all enjoy! :)

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda. I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it. But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it.

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the internet. If we wanted to know somethin…

I Laughed at the Pope Because I'm Horny?

This is some seriously silly shit right here, but I couldn't resist sharing. This one I ganked from Drkgodes on myspace and it made me giggle. Y'all feel free to post your own results...

Pick the month you were born:

January- I crapped
February- I slapped
March- I murdered
April- I looked at
May- I masturbated with
June- I slept with
July- I laughed at
August- I stabbed
September- I shot
October- I made love to
November- I wrestled
December- I had sex with

Now pick the day of your birth

1. A prostitute
2. An Asian
3. A Woman with HIV
4. A drunken black man
5. Santa Clause
6. A playboy bunny
7. A married mom
8. My stuffed bunny
9. Your mom
10. The Easter Bunny
11. A football player
12. A porn star
13. My lettermans Jacket
14. My teacher
15. The Rock
16. A DVD player
17. A pencil sharpener
18. The homeless guy
19. My computer
20. Your house
21. The tape measurer
22. The Lamp
23. The pope
24. Governor Swartenegar
25. Mr. Incredible
26. A transvestite
27. The Devil
28. Your hot sister
29. George Bush
30. A tape recorder
31. …

Song Names...

Here's a little something that I ganked from Shang_Shi's myspace bulletin. I thought it was fun and worth passing on. Y'all feel free to gank it and make it your own!

Tell me what the first song that comes to your mind when you read what its for...

1. Hate song? I Hate Myself for Loving You - Joan Jett

2. Love song? Freelove - Depeche Mode

3. Crush or Flirt song? I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend - Ramones

4. Fuck song? International Lover - Prince

5. Goofy song? The Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang

6. Dance song? Anything by Depeche Mode

7. Rage song? Head like a Hole - NIN

8. Slow song? Unforgettable - Nat and Natlie Cole

9. Make-up Song? Let's Stay Together - Al Green

10. Redneck song? The Perfect Country Song - David Allen Coe

11. Make-out song? Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye

12. Break-up song? User Friendly - Marilyn Manson

13. Happy song? It's a Small World - Disney

14. Sad song? Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd

15. Corny song? I Touch Myself - The Divinyls

A Final Xmas post

Here's one more "Night Before" version that I couldn't help but steal from Da Jules. Y'all enjoy!

Twas the night before the party
When all through the town,
No pigs were stirring,
No cops were around.
We drank segrams & smoked panama reds,
While visions of the munchies danced through our heads.
When all of a sudden came a knock at the door...
We all yelled "Pigs!" & hit the floor.
But what to our red glazed eyes did appear...
A pound of columbian with 2 kegs of beer.
The man at the door, he gave us a smile
So we said, "Come on in man,
You should party a while."
But we heard him exclaim as he flew through the sky...

A Little Xmas Meme

Here's one I stole from Da Jules' myspace bulletin...y'all feel free to gank and post it if you feel like it. Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!!! :)


1. Something purple within 5 feet of you:
My lavender robe because apparently in mainstream retail women should only wear pastels...bleah!

2. Now something green:
There are some houseplants on the bar. :)

3. Your nails were last painted:
In early November during our anniversary celebration.

4. The weirdest thing you've ever heated in the microwave?
Nothing particularly wierd is springing to mind.

5. How much Japanese do you know?
Very very few words.

11. Least favorite color?
Lime green.

12. Ever had Dippin' Dots?

13. Ever played an instrument?
Yeah I was forced to take piano lessons as a kid.

14. Ever had a H2O massage?

15. Do you believe in bigfoot?
Yes, definitely!

16. Ever been to a palm reader?
I've had friends do it but never paid for the service.

17. Last Pez dispenser you purchased?
I bought some…

More Xmas Cheer!

Here's a card for everyone, have a wonderful day today!

Twas the Night Before Gothmas

Here's a classic that's one of my all-time favs. Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!!!

Twas The Night Before Gothmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through our house
Was blasting the "St. Vitus Dance" by Bauhaus;
Torn fishnets were draped on my forearms with care,
And two cans of Aquanet applied to my hair;
My thoughts were of graveyards, and horror and dread,
Black visions of pain and despair in my head;
And Bianca, whose face was as pale as the moon,
Had thrown up her arm for this evening's swoon,
When out by the gravestones there came such a clatter,
I sprang from the coffin to find out the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a ghost,
Expecting to find a dark devilish host.
The moon on the breast of the uncaring snow
Threw ominous shadows on objects below,
When, before my tormented eyes did traverse,
But a gorgeous black Crane & Breed carved-panel hearse,
With a gaunt, shrouded driver, who filled me with fear,
And eight skeletal creatures that might hav…

Christmas lights rule!

I'll bet this house gets really annoying after a while though...enjoy!

Musical Lights

Merry Xmas everyone!!!

Hope everyone gets what they want this year! Lots of love to you all!

Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

I really thought that pride would win out but apparently greed won by a nose. Thanks to the Cap'n for this!


Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

What Type of Lesbian Are You?

I absolutely couldn't resist doing this quiz when I saw it at The Cap's Place. Thanks for finding this, Cap'n! :)

You scored as The Femme Fatale. You're carefree, dark and adventurous...and slightly fatale to the heart.The Femme Fatale75%The Pretty-Boi Dyke65%The Vaginal-Reference-Making Dyke60%The Little-Boy Dyke50%The Stud50%The Student Dyke45%The Magic Earring Ken Dyke35%The Surprise! Dyke35%The Quasi-Gothic Femme30%The Sprightly Elfin Femme25%The Granola Dyke20%The Bohemian Dyke10%The Hipster Dyke0%
What Type of Lesbian Are You? (Inspired by Curve Mag.)
created with

Happy Yule!

I raise a glass to the rebirth of the sun and hope that everyone feels hopeful for the season ahead! Cheers!

Which LOTR Character Are You?

I found this little gem on Army of Mom's site this morning and couldn't resist. It's a little long for a quiz of this type but I'm geeky enough that I had to do it anyway. Teehee. :)

You scored 29% Sturdyness, 80% Influence, 74% Supernatural, and 11% Evil!
You are Legolas, elven archer and member of the Fellowship. You have
sworn to aid the cause of destroying the ring. You have incredible
agility, speed and senses, and your bow has slain many a foe. If you
gain friends, your help would be the best one could hope for.
Link: The LOTR Character Test written by NoxTyger on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Fun Quickie Jokes

Here are some good, short jokes for y'all. Thanks again to Dolly for giving me blogfodder this week! :)

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the d…

New Seat Belt

Thanks to my friend Dolly for sending this one my way...definitely worth sharing! :)

The National Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below...

I know it's been a while since I posted anything real.

And there's a reason for that. My life is in a pretty serious flux right now and I'm not sure what to say. As soon as I can organize my thoughts and actually have something to report, I'll get back to you guys.

I've been assimilated!

I've finally ceded to the pressure and set up a Myspace account. I still think it's chunky and cumbersome, and I still hate MS products, fyi. Still tho, I've already found a couple of long lost friends on there so all is not lost. :) You guys can check it out if you want to:


Sex Frogs?

It looks like I have a new source of funnies: my friend Joy. Thanks for this, girlie!


A young lady, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of live frogs.

The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! Comes with complete instructions."

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one."

The man packages the frog and says, "Just follow the instructions." The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she reads the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does exactly what is specified:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you and allow the frog to follow its training.

She then quickly gets int…

Here's a Good One

I like the way this shop owner thinks! Thanks to Joy for sending this my way. :)

RIP John Lennon...a day late, oops

I realize that since yesterday was the actual anniversary of his death, I should have posted this then. Ah well, it's the thought that counts! I miss him and I remember when he was shot. I cried and then eventually did a research paper on his killer in high school. What a nutbag, I must say! Anyway, I salute John Lennon and his life well-lived. We miss you man! :-(

Why Math is Taught in School

Cyndi sent this to me and I couldn't resist posting it...this is a very wise man right here! LOL!

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself.

I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to some…

What Awful Book am I?

I ganked this quiz from Kurt so he's responsible. It's funny tho, I really tried to read the LOTR series and was bored to tears so I didn't make it through. I'm entertained. :)

take the WHAT BAD BOOK ARE YOU test.

and go to not as good as reading a good book, but way better than a bad one.

Updated blogroll

I've added some new links to my blogroll and reorganized the list. The heavy posters are at the top and the less frequent posters are at the bottom...nothing personal you guys! Y'all enjoy the new stuff. :)