Bill Maher Gets Big Points With Me
As I was doing my quick email/myspace check before heading to bed, I found this bulletin posted by my friend Elle. I had to pass it on. :)
These were Bill Maher's closing remarks on his show the other night.
"Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any more. There's no more money to spend--you used up all of that. You can't start another war because you used up the army. The cupboard's bare, the credit cards maxed out.
"Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. It's time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or an astronaut?
Now I know what you're saying: there's so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know. There's a lot left to do: There's a war with Venezuela, eliminating the sales tax on yachts, turning the space program over to the church, Social Security to Fannie Mae and giving embryos the right to vote."
"But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised that you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man.
Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes."
"On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side."
"So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: 'Take a hint.'
These were Bill Maher's closing remarks on his show the other night.
"Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any more. There's no more money to spend--you used up all of that. You can't start another war because you used up the army. The cupboard's bare, the credit cards maxed out.
"Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. It's time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or an astronaut?
Now I know what you're saying: there's so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know. There's a lot left to do: There's a war with Venezuela, eliminating the sales tax on yachts, turning the space program over to the church, Social Security to Fannie Mae and giving embryos the right to vote."
"But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised that you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man.
Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes."
"On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side."
"So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: 'Take a hint.'
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