A Day in the Life

Here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians and the French drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink whatever you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Thanks to Kurt for posting this one! *looks at the current world's population* You must have a lot of frustration then. What pisses you off? Created by ptocheia

Special thanks to Jules for posting this one. It's actually surprisingly accurate! :) Your Leo Drinking Style You love to drink and dance -- you're likely a fabulous dancer. You're usually pretty a good drinker as well, losing your commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, you're quite aware you're darling -- Leos will be Leos, after all. You generally know your limit, probably because you loathe losing self-control. When you get over-refreshed, flirting will ensue -- and perhaps not with the person what brought you. But you are not the type to break rules even when drunk, so others try to ignore your naughty behavior. You'll just make up for it with a sheepish (and hung over) apology the next day. Your Signature Cocktails Leos like flashy drinks, be they complicated tropical concoctions festooned with umbrellas, like a Bahama mama or the more common strawberry daiquiri or mai tai. Indeed, you often have a taste for the fruity -- try a screwdriver, o...

I actually laughed out loud when I read this in my inbox today...HAD to share! --------------------- Dear Tide Company, I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all through my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were nega...

After waking up Saturday morning feeling completely drained and with my sinuses going nuts, I ended up having to cancel all my plans for the weekend and stay home to rest. Not sure if I'm reacting to my current stress level or if it's the mysterious sinus infection that's running around my office but either way, I did stay home and get some much-needed rest this weekend. I must be caught up on my sleep because I woke up at 5:30 this morning! LOL!

I got a couple of "women" things in my inbox this week and I thought they were worth sharing... -------------------------- TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND 10. Cats' facial expressions. 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors. 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds. 7. Fat clothes. 6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time. 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell. 4. Cutting your hair to make it grow. 3. Eyelash curlers. 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. AND, the Number One Number One thing only women understand: 1. OTHER WOMEN --------------------------------- A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...one old love she can imagine going back to...and one who reminds her how far she has come... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own...even if she never wants to or needs to... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ......

I had to take the quiz...I can't resist the lure of the online quiz. Here are my results: You scored as Hinduism . Your views are most similar to those of... Hinduism! Do some research on Hinduism and possibly consider becoming Hindu, if you aren't already. Hinduism 67% Buddhism 63% Paganism 58% Satanism 50% Islam 38% agnosticism 29% Christianity 29% atheism 17% Judaism 8% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com I guess it's a good thing that the religion I choose to practice was at least in the top 5. Guess I need to read up on the two ahead of it, huh? :)

The torch has been passed by Matt and I accept the challenge. I have no idea what a "meme" is though, is it me or is there some new blogger language that I don't know about? Kinda like the other day when I was trying to read rap lyrics online (don't ask, long story) and I had to get a translator because there were words in the song that don't actually exist in normal every day language. But I digress... "Five things society at large enjoys, but that I just don't get..." 1. Reality TV: How sad is our society that people have to make up ridiculous scenarios and then have the gall to call it "reality"? Maybe I'm more socially active than most, hell I probably am, but I get enough drama from my group of friends to want to watch some made-up-for-tv group of wanna-be actors try to compete. If you're going to call it reality TV shouldn't it actually have something to do with reality?? 2. Truck/SUV Size Queens: I take no issue with p...

We went to Fry's last night to get a few things we needed. When we got up to the register, the cake of blank dvds rang up higher than we thought it was going to be. This amazing cashier actually left her register with me and went to the blank multimedia area to find out why. It turned out that the disks that were on sale had run out of stock, so some genius had stuck different disks in the empty space. She actually went and got an associate from that area and got him to help me find something that would be a better bargain. Truly I was shocked at her level of customer service (*especially* at Fry's!) and filled out a kudo form for her when we got back to her register. Makes me want to call Hell and find out if it's still hot down there...

You're a hardworking individual enshrouded by an overwhelming sense of mystery, beauty, and intrigue. Though always on the go, you keep focused, helping -- often rapturing -- those you meet. Take the What Pulp Fiction Character Are You? quiz.

I actually laughed out loud when I read this so I thought I'd share. :) --------------------------------- A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what? "What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. "I think you're bad luck, get the fuck away from me."

We've been threatening to go visit our friend Rob at his night DJ job for quite a while now...we finally made it out there last night. Here's what we found: The Candle Room The building and ambience were *very* cool. It was a nice, dark club with posh decor that kind of had a Casablanca flavor to it. The name Candle Room is apt because there are no electric lights (or at least none that were obvious enough to be noticeable) and the whole place was lit by candlelight. The drink prices were higher than I'm used to, but not outrageous enough to offend me. The mix on them was very nice and made it far more palatable to pay the higher price. The music was outstanding...Rob even took pity on me and played me some Depeche Mode! :) Now let's talk about the patrons...because it's a member's only club (we got listed in by Rob) there is an aura of uppityness as soon as you walk in the place. Even the bartentders and waitstaff were enhanced enough that they didn't quite...

One of my work friends and her husband invited us to spend the weekend at their cabin on Lake Texoma for the weekend and we happily went. It was SO nice to get away from town for a couple of days! We went out on their boat both Saturday and Sunday and got a little bit of sun (not too much tho thanks to the boat cover and some sunscreen). We ate really well, drank some good coffee, and had some cocktails. I must say that it was refreshing to get to hang out with a couple that truly digs each other as much as we do and it was almost like having a double date for the whole weekend. We've been invited back (yay!) so I expect that we'll be trying to make it up there at least once a month for the rest of the summer. Ahhhhh, a weekend getaway spot is just what the doctor ordered! :)

With our schedule this weekend, I can already safely say that I will not be posting until Sunday at the earliest. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! :)

Thanks to Jules for posting this on her blog...now I'm conitnuing the madness. A half X means that I fell asleep during the movie and only saw the first half. :) ( )Napoleon Dynamite (X)Saw (X)White Noise ( )Anger Managment ( )50 First Dates ( )Jason X (X)Scream (X)Scream 2 (X)Scream 3 (X)Scary Movie (X)Scary Movie 2 ( )Scary Movie 3 (X)American Pie (X)American Pie 2 (X)American Wedding (X)Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone (X)Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (X)Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (X)The Wedding Singer ( )Little Black Book (X)The Village (/)Donnie Darko ( )Lilo & Stitch (X)Finding Nemo ( )Finding Neverland (X)13 Ghosts (X)Signs ( )The Grudge (X)Texas Chainsaw Massacre ( )White Chicks ( )Butterfly Effect ( )Thirteen ( )I, Robot ( )Dodgeball ( )A Series Of Unfortunate Events ( )Along Came A Spider ( )KingPin (X)Never Been Kissed ( )Meet The Parents ( )Meet The Fockers ( )Eight Crazy Nights ( ...

I got this in my inbox today and thought I'd just post my reply here instead of forwarding it along. I've edited it a little bit but it's still fun. :) 1. What is your full name? Hrmmm, prolly better not post that out here...kinda blows the anonymity thing. :) 2. What color pants are you wearing? wearing a dress right now 3. What are you listening to right now? just the sounds of the house: Rory bitching, Cinder purring, the computer humming 4. What was the last thing you ate? Rauncho's for dinner, gluttony at it's finest 5. Do you wish on stars? not in a long time 6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? hot Barbie pink 7. How is the weather right now? cooling off as the sun goes down 8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Barry 9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? yes 10. How old are you today? 35 11. Favorite drink? varies from day to day but I always love stuff with vodka in it 12. Favorite sport? not a big sports fan in...

Last week was quite interesting at work for me. We got two new hires in our department and we've had a temp in there who is doing such a good job that we were trying to figure out a way to keep her on permanent. Out of the blue, my boss got a call from far up on high in the corporate chain that he needed someone to fill a position that had been phased out but now needed to be recreated. A wild shuffling of responsibilities ensued and here's how it panned out: My team leader (and also the scheduler for the office) has been moved into a blended position of scheduling and contacting outside lenders on behalf of the builder. She's moved into her own office with a door (oooooooh, aaaaaaaaah) and now has more clout with less varied job duties. I am now the new team leader over a group of brand new employees and also will be assisting the lady that does all of our resale closings. I suppose I should be exited about my new position and I'm actually completely thrilled about the...

I've decided that in the interest of my mental health, in order to best accomodate my limited time at the keyboard, and to cut down on really long update posts I'm going to start doing my posting similar to the daily newspaper. For instance: if I have news about my job it will be "Business", if I'm posting about our very full social life it will be "Entertainment", and so on. I'm hoping this new format will allow me to make shorter posts more often and help me feel like I don't have to pack a ton of information into one single post. We'll see how it goes... :)

So my internet-illiterate dad calls me the other day to tell me to go to this site: http://www.rodeoswest.com/ I think this man needs some serious meds...

I actually got two Texas jokes in my inbox today so I thought I'd share. Hope y'all enjoy these as much as I did! :) ___________________________________ Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God. "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" Inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth but cold and harsh while southern Europe is going to be poor but su...