A Day in the Life

After three months of working my ass off, I'm finally starting to see some concrete results. I've officially had one offer that didn't get accepted, two contracts that didn't make it past the option period, and now I have closed one deal fully and have at least three more contracts (hopefully) in the works for October. I can't WAIT to see a paycheck with a dollar amount on it other than zero! Had to share you guys, love y'all! :)

And now on the lighter side of things, here's a joke My Shelly sent me. This right here is Rory in heaven. :) A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, "You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking." The cat thought for a minute and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on." God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow. A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat. The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again." God answered, "It is done." All the mice had beautiful little roller skates. About a we...

Here's one My Shelly sent to me about a month ago that I'm just getting around to posting. I totally agree with it tho! :) We're sticking the next generation with debt and an unjust war. Solution: We must cut healthcare for people with "Bush-Cheney" bumper stickers. By Garrison Keillor Aug. 30, 2006 | It's the best part of summer, the long lovely passage into fall. A procession of lazy golden days that my sandy-haired, gap-toothed little girl has been painting, small abstract masterpieces in tempera and crayon and glitter, reminiscent of Franz Kline or Willem de Kooning (his early glitter period). She put a sign out front, "Art for Sale," and charged 25 cents per painting. Cheap at the price. A teacher gave her this freedom to sit unselfconsciously and put paint on paper. A gentle 6-foot-8 guy named Matt who taught art at her preschool. Her swimming teachers gave her freedom from fear of water. So much that has made this summer a pleasure for her I t...

Okay, one last post for today and it's short. This one's from my Mom-Person's sweetie and it made me laugh out loud! I get so confused by pop culture... Was JonBenet the one who shot Joey Buttafucco because he cut off the penis of Tonya Harding's husband, OJ Simpson?

Here are a couple of funnies from my Mom-Person. :)

Here's one Billy sent a while back that is classic. I could SO see my friends doing this!!! :) During the big DUI Dragnet, a Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular local bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time as everyone came out, he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car. After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own vehicle. He sat in the car a good ten minutes as the other patrons left. He turned his lights on, then off, wipers on then off. He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away. The Patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over. He administered the breathalizer test, and to his great surprise the man blew a 0.00. The Patrolman was dumbfounded. "This equipment must be broken," exclaimed the...

Time to work on cleaning out the inbox today so I'm going to post some funnies for y'all to enjoy. Here's one stolen from Da Jules myspace bulletin from weeks ago... EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS A man comes into the ER and yells; "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one. Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`` At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient. Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`` One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myoca...